Mall Maniac
by Aquade
Summary: "Skipper!" It was Private's turn to watch the monitors for any suspicious behavior, and the penguin was currently staring at one of the screens. "He's done it again!" One-Shot


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Penguins of Madagascar or Central Park Zoo. What I _do_ own is this plot line, though.**

* * *

"Skipper!" It was Private's turn to watch the monitors for any suspicious behavior, and the penguin was currently staring at one of the screens. "He's done it again!"

"What is it, Private?" said Skipper, clearly annoyed. "We were playing a game of cards!"

The leader had some cards in his flippers. The rest of the penguins came out. Kowalski cleared his throat. "Actually, I'm kind of glad you called us, Private. I was having a losing hand anyway."

Skipper glared at him. "Well, how do you think _I_ feel? I was winning!"

At that moment, Marlene came out. She had been filling in for Private in their game of cards. "Yeah, I see it's about to get rough, and I know you're all like classified and stuff so I'm going to leave."

She waved at them before heading in to the tunnel that would lead her to her habitat. "Bye!"

Private waved back. "See yah!"

Kowalski was at the monitors and had found what Private had seen. "I think you should see this, Skipper."

Skipper placed his cards on the table before waddling over. "Great Hoover Dam!"

Kowalski took out his abacus. "That would make it his-" he did some calculations, "third time this week!" The scientist threw up his flippers, sending the tool crashing somewhere. "We can't keep doing this! There are other operations that need our expertise."

Skipper nodded thoughtfully. "You may be onto something here, Kowalski. Just tell me if you have any options."

Kowalski nodded. "Right. You guys start thinking of something while I go find my abacus."

He waddled towards where they had last heard the abacus land up at. A few seconds later, chaos was heard, and Kowalski was seen running out, screaming at some unknown creatures. "Give that back! It's mine!"

The rest of the penguins stared after him. "Okay," said Rico.

Skipper nodded. "You stole the words right out of my mouth."

Private tapped his flippers together. "I do hope he gets his abacus back. Perhaps we should get him a calculator for his birthday! After all, you and Rico _did_ destroy his old one."

Rico threw his flippers up in mock surrender. "Hey! Wasn't my fault!"

"Rico is right," said Skipper. "Kowalski should have told us it was his abacus."

Private rolled his eyes. "Sure."

Skipper glared at him. "Don't roll your eyes at your commanding officer, soldier."

Private let out a squeak. "Um, I was just –just –looking up at our decorative spikes! Yes, that's it. When are we going to take them down?"

Skipper narrowed his eyes. "I'm keeping an eye on you."

Kowalski came back –panting but victorious. "I've done it! So, what did you come up with?"

Rico rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Nothing."

Kowalski sighed. "What would you do without me?"

"Investigate," said Skipper curtly.

"Well," Private piped up. "We could just ask him to stop."

The other penguins looked at each other before bursting out into laughter. "Ask?" choked out Kowalski.

"Joey?" added Rico.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" finished Skipper.

Private stood there, his arms crossed. "No need to make fun of it!"

They finally stopped laughing. Skipper turned to Kowalski. "Options?"

"We could go check it out?"

"Move out, men."

* * *

"Well this isn't something an average animal would see every day," noted Skipper.

"Note the word _average_," said Kowalski.

"At least he's happy and not trying to kill or beat anybody up," said Private.

"This could prove o be a problem if he doesn't stop," stated Kowalski.

"Uh huh," said Rico.

They stared at Joey. His habitat was filled with stuff from Australia. The kangaroo himself was beaming. Skipper glanced at Kowalski. "Do you think he is going to stop going to the mall and terrorizing the citizens to get what he wants?"

Kowalski shook his head. "Probably not. Do you want statistics?"

"Nah." Skipper shook his head.

"So," asked Private. "We're going back to the mall again?"

"Affirmative," said Skipper.

Kowalski sighed. "I wonder how long it would take for the animal control officers to finally catch him or discover that the security tapes have been tampered with."

"Ka boom?"

Skipper shook his head. "I wish it was that easy."

Kowalski hopped off the wall. "Let's go. I just hope we have enough fuel in our car to get there."

"And off we go again," said Private, following. "The new Lunacorn doll just came out anyway."

Skipper gave him a look of disgust. "I don't know what is it with you and those dolls."

"I'm starting a collection!"

Skipper rolled his eyes. "Rico, take Private and get the car. We'll meet you at the gates in five."

Rico nodded enthusiastically before dragging Private off. "Rico! Put me down!" cried the boy. The psychopath paid no mind to him.

Kowalski glanced at his leader. "Was that _really_ necessary?"

Skipper shrugged. "Probably not, but it never fails."

"So, how are we going to stop him?"

"Oh I have a plan."

Kowalski stopped momentarily. "Marlene?"

"Well, of course! She's good with words."

"I'm guessing there is a _an_."

"And Joey doesn't beat women up or kick them out of his habitat."

"He still has his temper."

Skipper waved it away. "If Marlene can handle Ringtail and I, she can handle Joey."

Kowalski gave him a skeptical look, but he knew better that to question his leader. Instead, he looked towards the otter habitat and whispered, "You might want to run, Marlene."

Marlene lay out in the sun when she suddenly snapped open her eyes. "Huh? I could have sworn someone told me to run."

She saw the two penguins waddling towards the gate. "Skipper and Kowalski? That's not good. They're probably up to something."

She lay back down again before sitting up. "And knowing them, I have a role in it."

She got up. "Well, there's no better time for a walk in the park but the present, ay?"

* * *

**Review Please! And tell me what you think!**


End file.
